I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
