I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
