This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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