Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
