Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
