that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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