you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Panties = found
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
