i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
be right there i have to get my cape
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
