Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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