you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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