Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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