So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I am one with the molecules
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
