Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
