I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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