Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
17 year olds will be the death of me.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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