he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
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