Dual....:-)
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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