I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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