and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Found your dick twin last night
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
