all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
