you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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