I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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