He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My dad just said "fuck circus"
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
