i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
