I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
