we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
