we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
