I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Is Oprah even human
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
