my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
