hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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