he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
