but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
