im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
