toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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