Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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