what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We don't watch enough power rangers
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
