It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
