Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Randomize
