besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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