When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
