I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
