he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
