it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
And then my night got REAL pukey
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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