I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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