So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
