I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
