Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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