Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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