The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
