We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
