I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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