I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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