so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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