My first STD was from a foam party
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
