they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
