I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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