One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Dignity is for republicans.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
