Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm at about main and main street
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
