Whod you bang
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
