so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
