Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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